The Endless Questions

My head is swimming in misery. I am lost in the battle of fighting my own demons. I am sinking and drowning in my own failures and disappointments in life. Lots of people who cares about me is telling me to hold on, that I could still bounce back after everything that I went through and that to keep and hold on to my faith.

But how would I be able to do that? Am I such a wicked person after all?

My show of strength and courage are just by product of the “no choice” game of this life. What if I don’t play that kind of game anymore?

I am weary of just accepting and am glad to everything that comes my way act. I am tired of my sunny disposition in spite of the awful and unpleasant things that life is throwing me. I am disillusioned that everything will get better in time and there’s a very good reason behind to everything that is happening to us. All I wanted is to be happy. And I am trying hard to do it. I am trying to be good. I am careful on not hurting others and stepping on another toes to fulfill that. I know the rules and I am cautiously abiding by it. But what the hell, I am always put through complicated circumstances?

I am always at the middle of situation wherein my patience and good values are being tested. Why can’t I be just for once be in a pleasant, simple and with a “no catch” condition? Wherein I don’t have to struggle or to compromise anything? Why does it have to be always difficult and complicated? Why does it always involve unhappiness and despair?

I am growing old. I am growing jaded. I am growing bitter. And so what, I am that and more right now. Blame it on my raging hormones. Or the rut that I am in right now. I don’t care. And I don’t give a damn anymore.

Overcoming a Broken Heart

“If you love something…let it go, if it comes back to you it was truly meant to be.”

Step One:

Allow yourself time to heal, and know that you can heal. Whether the loss is due to death, rejection, or other reason.
It is normal to grieve over a loss of a love for any reason.
It usually takes two to three years for a couple whose relationship has broken up to begin to put their lives back together again. It sometimes takes five years for individuals and families to get over the emotional pain and trauma. Many people can have serious health and emotional problems during this time.

Step Two:

Realize that you still can find happiness.
Realize that you can control how you think, what you think about, and how much.
A key is to concentrate on the positives you have in the present. Not thinking about the future or past.
Healing Helpers

Being around people and getting involved in helping others is a good way to accelerate the proces of healing.
Laughing helps too, so see a comedy, watch funny things.

Helping others helps you loose sight of your own losses.

It is strongly suggested that you take the intensity of your feelings and re-direct them into doing something constructive that helps others.

Do volunteer work, it can help the healing process greatly. Especially, if the volunteer work envolves working with others, and feeling gratitude from those you are helping. The channeling the power of your feelings to accomplish constructive acts is very, very helpful.

Step Three:

Activily work to feel better.
Act happy and smile. Even if you don’t feel that way, it should start to make you feel that way.
Life will be better

My Personal Experience

In my lifetime (i’m already 28 now) I had a relationship. It took me a while before I was able to move on. To open myself to caring about someone else.

Even when I did move on, those who I said “I love you” to, I still care about and love to this day.

Now, even knowing that I still truly love the girl  who already moved on, I don’t think of her as a “one and only love.” She is the only person I can say I have “true love” for, and might remain that for the rest of my life. I don’t know. She may be the person whom I love most in my life, and is at this point in my life by a wide margin.

But, as with all losses of love, I need time to grieve over my loss, I need to cherish what I had, realize what I have good in my life at the moment, and keep a hope for a better future.

Time will tell if someone else comes into my life who I will love more than I do her, or she comes back into my life. Only God knows…

Goodluck,

Shakerules 

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens:
but often we look so long at the closed door
that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.”