It’s embarrassing when I try to look back, and realize how ungrateful I become when I am in pain, depress or sad, because of too many stress, too many problems and too many heartaches yet when I’m happy and satisfied, I am carefree.
With a lot that happened lately (I don’t know what’s with this year, because it seems that problems are really pouring in!!!) made a lot of realizations (as if I haven’t made enough before) and I am just thankful and grateful that I am now seeing the light again.
Before I kept on telling to myself and to a lot of friends (who are also going through tough times) that we have to embrace everything in life, accept everything that comes our way, everything has a reason… blah… blah… blah… and so on… Surprise, I was not really into it. Because I kept on asking myself, asking my friends, asking my loved ones, asking fate, asking God, asking anybody who can answer my pathetic misery. It dawned on me, that some things don’t have to be question, we just have to let them be, it is meant to be that way. In time, in His time, everything will just fall into the right places, when the least we expect them to be.
When we are hurting and facing a difficult time in our life, it is easier to be angry, blame anybody, feel weak, feel wicked and just keep on ranting about our pains. We are so consumed of our own misery and our own feelings. We keep on nurturing the pain.
BUT IT IS JUST US WHO’S PUTTING OUR OWN SELVES TO MISERY.
There are a lot of things to be happy about. We just have to be open to everything. Cliché as it maybe, blessings are bountiful, and we just have to recognize it, appreciate it and embrace it.
Maybe things are still tough with me this time but then unexpectedly I am doing great. Never been better. I am still hurting, yes, but what the heck, nothing time can heal. I don’t know when, but I know that time will come. Like what St. Therese said, quoted to me by Theo teacher in College, my most favorite line,
IT IS WHEN YOU ARE WEAK THAT YOU ARE STRONG.
In spite of these storms, I made my peace; anger nor bitterness has no place in my heart. I am renewing myself; I AM KEEPING MY FAITH…